If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

The rain is pouring down outside our windows as my children and I cuddle together on the couch and watch “Bambi”.  It seems almost a tradition that we watch a movie on rainy days.

In the movie, Thumper is reprimanded by his mother for saying something critical of Bambi, and then he repeats what his father had told him that morning: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

How often do we say things that aren’t nice?

I know I do it far too often.  I’ve noticed that Punky has started calling things or people “stupid”.  Do you know where he learned that from? ME.  I call Leo, our Labradoodle, “stupid” all the time.  Now, he can be infuriating at times due to his lack of smarts, but that doesn’t mean I should be lashing out at him and calling him names.  Even if he is just a dog, as I often claim, we all do love him like a family member.

It is so important for us to watch what we say around our children.  If we don’t allow our children to name call, then we shouldn’t do it ourselves.  This is so obvious to me, but, yet, I still falter.  It seems, at least for me, my lack of patience is always the root of my problems.  If only I could be more patient, I wouldn’t be so inclined to speak without thinking, specifically when it comes to criticism.  It is always best to reprimand our children without criticizing them or berating them. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).  Stirring up anger in my children is not something that I want to do, but my curt answers or accusatory discipling does just that.

Molly shared this quote on her blog today, and I want to as well because it pertains to what I have been pondering as my children watch “Bambi” this morning.

“Pray and then speak. That’s what to do with your children. If you are constantly lecturing them, you’ll become tiresome and when they grow up they’ll feel a kind of oppression. Prefer prayer and speak to them through prayer. Speak to God and God will speak to their hearts. That is, you shouldn’t give guidance to your children with a voice that they hear with their ears. You may do this too, but above all you should speak to God about your children. Say, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, give Your light to my children. I entrust them to You. You gave them to me, but I am weak and unable to guide them, so, please, illuminate them.’”

- Elder Porphyrios

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