What saves and makes for good children is the life of the parents in the home. The parents need to devote themselves to the love of God. They need to become saints in their relation to their children through their mildness, patience and love. They need to make a new start every day, with a fresh outlook, renewed enthusiasm and love for their children. And the joy that will come to them, the holiness that will visit them, will shower grace on their children. Generally the parents are to blame for the bad behaviour of the children. And their behaviour is not improved by reprimands, disciplining, or strictness. If the parents do not pursue a life of holiness and if they don’t engage in spiritual struggle, they make great mistakes and transmit the faults they have within them. If the parents do not live a holy life and do not display love towards each other, the devil torments the parents with the reactions of the children. Love, harmony and understanding between the parents are what are required for the children. This provides a great sense of security and certainty.
- Elder Porphyrios
My husband and I were talking about this just this week. I always find myself yelling at the children, when it is really a problem with myself and not them. Yes, they can be infuriating at times, but I need to learn to be patient. “Patience” and “mildness” are not words a person would connect with me. Although, I do have “love”- lots of it! I love my kids like crazy, sometimes too much because I spoil them and let them walk all over me. I have found that when I am not doing my prayers like I should or reading the Scriptures, I tend to be a crankier person. There is definitely a connection there.
As Lent approaches, I am meditating on all of the things that I want to accomplish during this time of the year. As I’ve already said, I want to get my life organized, and one of the most important parts of that is getting on a schedule. I want to wake up in the mornings and pray as a family and read the Bible with the children. I want to teach them about Lent and Pascha (Easter). I also want to share stories of those who have gone before us, the saints, important people in the Bible, etc. I have ordered two books that I plan to read; although, one is 500 pages, so I am not sure if I’ll get all the way through it. I want to say prayers at night, and not just the prayers that we do with the children. I want to take time to prayer by myself before I go to bed.
I know that paragraph is full of ‘wants”, but I feel like we completely missed Lent last year (with being sick from my pregnancy, moving, packing, etc) and I want to point my eyes toward Christ’s death and resurrection this year. If I can make these things my desires, I will then be able to shift the focus on Christ. Then I can be a better example to my children. Our children do understand, as well as they can, Christ’s death and resurrection. But it is just as important for them to see our faith lived out in the day to day.
I hope this coming season is a blessed and fruitful one for all.
Thanks, Emily, for the quote!
I’ve thought a lot along the same lines. Nice to read your thoughts too.
this is a lot of things! Lent sure can be challenging to know how to balance between what we can do and what we wish to do! I struggle with this a lot!!! I pray that your lent will be a blessing to you!
My love to you!
As we are beginning to think about starting our family, this is a habit that I want to get into BEFORE children are brought in. I want to be in the habit before so that we can continue and start with a strong foundation. Then I have to remind myself that “wanting” and “doing” are two different things…I have to get to the wanting!
I’m hoping to use this Lent season to start this.
Lately, I have been noticing that same thing. I have much more patience when I start my day out right in the word or with praise! It’s just hard to get into that practice of making sure I get up before the kids to make sure it happens!! It is important and worth the effort!!
Those are great goals! I know that through God’s strength you can accomplish these and more!